Religion and/or spirituality can be a powerful force for good and healing in our world. Unfortunately, it can also be a source of deep wounding.
We have seen a parade of spiritual or religious figures experience very public exposure for their harmful and abusive behavior.
Some of us have experienced these behaviors ourselves:
- the weaponization of scriptures,
- being told to repent or reconcile with our abuser, and
- seemingly zero accountability for harm done.
At the hands of the people we have trusted with our very souls, this trauma can be immeasurably damaging and disorienting. Either witnessing or experiencing it has led many to deconstruct our faith, wrestling with God and ourselves to rediscover what we believe.
What is Spiritual Abuse?
There is a sense in which all abuse is spiritual abuse: the harm caused by trauma wounds our spirit as well as our bodies and minds.
But some forms of emotional or psychological abuse have a uniquely spiritual dimension.
Spiritual abuse is any consistent pattern of harm being done in a spiritual or religious context. It can look like coercion, control, condemnation, shunning, gaslighting, manipulation, shaming, or demeaning – all seemingly done with divine authority and/or approval.
In short, spiritual abuse is any use of a person as an object to serve the needs of the abuser, rather than as a divine image-bearer. Through my personal and professional experiences and training, I have been developing a specialty in helping those who have experienced spiritual abuse encounter healing and find their renewed life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are you going to judge me because I don’t believe the way you do?
Absolutely not; that is often what causes spiritual wounding in the first place.
My job is to provide a safe space to wrestle, to question, to lament, to be mad at God, or to just mourn the loss of faith. We have to feel it to heal it, and you get to decide when you’re ready.
Are you a Christian?
I am a professing and practicing Christian.
However, it is because of my beliefs that I work with people who have been hurt by those who share (some of) my beliefs. At all times I will be particularly sensitive to your needs as a person harmed by this belief system, and I will always follow the codes of ethics within my profession as a licensed mental health clinician.
Don’t you work out of a church?
My office is in a building affiliated with a church. I want to acknowledge that this can be very difficult for some of you; please feel free to process that discomfort in therapy. Those parts of you are welcome here, and I will certainly address any concerns you have.
I also want to wholeheartedly honor the bravery and courage it can take to step back into this space while seeking out your own path to healing.
My hope is that we can find ways to continue to overcome the impulse to avoid triggers of trauma and work toward healing and renewal together – whether you step into a church building ever again or not.