What is Family Systems theory?
Family systems theory is the idea that problems occur within an interconnected web of relationships, or a system. To try and address a problem without also addressing the system that contributed to and continues to feed the problem, is a bit like going swimming wearing a wetsuit and thinking you won’t get wet.
In counseling work, we don’t just focus on removing symptoms of the problem. We work on addressing the entire system that is itself both cause of and potential solution to the problem.
What does this look like in your practice?
I use family systems theory in my counseling practice in three ways:
Individuals
I view people not as a single personality, but as a system of interconnected yet often fractured and hurt “parts”. These parts of ourselves need to be healed of past wounds and integrated into a functioning whole.
I do this by helping client access their own core sense of Self, and connect to parts of themselves with curiosity and compassion, in order to achieve calm and clarity, so that the core Self can lead with confidence, creativity, and courage.
All parts of your “internal family” need to be welcomed and valued, and all parts need to have their needs wisely met in order to find your renewed life.
Couples
I view relationships as a single system of behaviors, in which everyone bears responsibility. I look at the patterns of interaction within the system as the problem, not the people.
Outside of abuse, looking to assign fault or blame is utterly unhelpful, so I actively resist and work against any kind of “taking sides” in couples counseling. What is helpful is to shift the patterns of communication and behaviors so that they are designed for connection, rather than protection.
All members of the relationship need to feel — and give — love and respect in order to find a renewed life together.
Adolescents
I view all adolescent behavior as intricately connected to the family system.
Much like with couples counseling, this also means that (outside of abuse) no one person in the system needs to be “fixed”: the family system as a whole needs to find better ways of relating to each other.
In counseling adolescents, I require that the parents are actively involved in every session, have treatment plan goals, and do their own work connected to their child’s therapy. To me, this is essential if lasting and healthy change is to happen, in order that the entire family system can find a renewed life together
What are some other resources I can use?
I would recommend the following resources for understanding how family systems theory works in my practice: